Days like Today

Today I had the feeling I have been experiencing more often lately again.

I was out in Chico with my mom and Gramma, going on errands and perusing the Health Food Store. Listening to them talk about this and that, the ingredient in this brand over that brand, the cost of this type over that type. Smiling to myself, eager for the day I will stand by my mom and decide whether the cheaper price for the less healthy peanut butter is better than the higher price for the healthier stuff. Of course, I already do this, I am my mothers 'right hand gal' as she likes to call me. And I cherish this position. It's my personal job and responsibility, we talk about what to make for dinner, whether we should put this seasoning in or maybe this other one. We plan out shopping, if we need more carrots or more celery instead. And I love doing this with her, beside the special 'time' we get together, it makes me feel like I'm growing up even more. Where my mom trusts me and looks to me to help her decide something when it comes to our food, or what brand to get. You know, things like that.

I guess the way I would describe the feeling was a kind of desire, or longing. I longed to be the grown adult walking down the rows of food items with my mom and my own cart, looking at the ingredients on a bottle of syrup then setting it back in disgust when I see how much sweetener is in it. (yes mother, I blame you for making me notice that all the time!! I love you :)

I had the great desire to have my own paycheck. So I could be shopping for myself, choosing between two things that I need, consulting mom on which one I should get. Maybe I feel this way because I think it will make me even closer to mom, she's been teaching me so much. How to keep myself and others healthy, how to cook and season just right. I love learning all these things from her, she's teaching me how to be a mother. I think that is the perfect way to describe it, my mom is teaching me how to be a mom, and I love her for it.

I look to my mom as a figure that I wish to be someday, with my own family, my own husband and kids to take care of. Someone I can call on a bad day and talk to so she can make me feel better, or call when I'm just not quite sure about something. I want to be able to pass on this small promise of purity ring to my eldest daughter someday, and be able to make her understand what it means. And how it used to be her grandmothers before she gave it to me. I can't wait till the day where I can be home with all my kids and my mom is over, spoiling them like all grandmothers do :) Me standing in the kitchen remembering how I used to be the kid sitting there smiling at my Gramma.

Days like today make me realize what a great mom (and Gramma :) I have. I am blessed with a mother who cares about who I will be someday, who cares enough to teach me the things a good Christian mother should know. And I know, when I am married and have my own kids (if that is His will) I will always be able to count on my mom to be there. God really blessed me with someone like my mom, and I thank Him for her every day. I love you mom :)