Memorial Day Memories

Memorial Day, a day of remembrance and thanks. Remembering the men and woman who give or gave their lives to keep thousands of people they don't even know safe and alive. And thanks to them all for doing it, I for one have a deep gratitude and respect for our troops.


Well, beside the remembrance part, Memorial Day for us is a large and happy event. And annual party that brings together up to fifty friends and family for a day filled with laughter, games and food.
Starting at 11:00 am. our party consists of various games scattered around the lawn of my pastors yard, (where the party is held, it is a very large backyard) there is a huge lunch and dessert later on as well.


On the porch are four jars varying in size and shape, each filled with a different kind of candy. At this game we have to write down how many pieces of candy we think are in each jar, whoever comes the closest gets the jar of candy. (my brother won two of them this year :)


When it is time for lunch everyone makes a couple lines. There is so many different things to choose from, potato salad, macaroni salad, watermelon, a fruit and whipped cream dish, chips and so many others. It was all amazing.  


The eating is done and the competitions haven't started yet, so Sarah and I get on the trampoline with a couple little girls, Kaya and Jo-Jo (a nickname) Those two girls are the sweetest things you could ever imagine. Both of them got a hang of jumping on the trampoline pretty quick. Squealing and smiling they said I was Bullseye, Sarah was Jessi, Kaya named herself Buzz Lightyear, and Jo-Jo was Woody. And that is how Jojo got a ride on my back, I mean, I was Bullseye after all ;)


After a few minutes of that we entertained them by pretending we where 'Gonna get you!!"
But when my back was turned both little girls tackled me from behind. I almost couldn't get up I was laughing so hard. I still smile and laugh at the memory of that thirty minutes playing with them. It is a special feeling knowing little kids and babies like you so much :)

Later on there is the balloon stomp, and the water balloon toss.
At the balloon stomp we have an order we go in, so first there is the younger children. Each with a fully blown balloon tied to their ankle, they all stand on the tarp spread out on the grass and wait for pastor to say go.
The point of this game is to stomp on everyone else's balloon and pop it. So after about three minutes of squealing, laughing and determined gusto, there is only two kids left. They both go after each other until finally we hear one last POP!! And the last kid standing is the winner of that age group. 
Next is the teens-twenties, then adults.


I being in the teens group do what I always do. I hop around staying out of the way until there is only me and a fully grown guy left on the mat. We circled each other for quite awhile trying to pop the others balloon, being the last girl standing I was getting a lot of cheering. But alas, a few minutes in, I backed up just too much, and the grass popped my balloon. He won, but most of us thought it wasn't quite fair seeing as how he didn't pop it. I will be back for redemption next year!!


The games are over and lunch is eaten, dessert finally makes it out and everyone is sitting and talking. Four of the men are in the farther part of the yard playing Horseshoes like they do every year, and the woman are all sitting around chatting and holding the newest addition of a friends family.


I got a lot of good pictures yesterday :) I think days like that are perfect memory and photo album makers ;)
Next to birthdays, Memorial Day is the most looked forward to event of the year, and I have so many years of memories on those days. It amazes me how many wonderful and happy memories can be made in six hours, and I am blessed with all the time I can spend with friends and family in Christ. 
My thoughts are filled with happiness, and the memories of the past with joy.


*God bless our troops

Keeping Strong(er)

Summer is almost here, I can feel it in the air, the whisper of warmer days, and the rustle of dried grass under my feet. I sit on my bed gazing out the window, the sky is so blue. The clouds are a fluffy, clean white, idly floating through the sky, watching the bustle of life below them

The view from my bed is a clear, open, direct view into the sky and the hills beyond our neighborhood. I feel the strongest yearning to be free, to be one of those birds flying by, to soar through the air and feel the wind in my face.

But I am suddenly pulled back to reality, for there is a pile of school text books and homework assignment sitting in front of me, shattering my want for summer and the unburdening of school.

Sighing I stare at all the work that must be finished, knowing I am behind in Biology and coming to the realization I will be doing it through the summer, to finish before the next school year. Sometimes the load of school seems almost too much to take; being someone who cannot stand failing at anything is difficult when I have never gotten a grade over D in Algebra.

A headache is coming on; I can feel an ominous ache in the back of my skull. The stress I put on myself is more than I should, and I know it. But it’s hard not to. I feel like I am ready to fail, but furious at myself for feeling the need to give up.

I was convicted in church today; about a week ago I was diagnosed with scoliosis. And I had been telling myself that I would get through this……on my own. I didn’t need help, I was tough, I had been through things like this for a long time. But as I sat in church the Lord moved me, He convicted me that I couldn’t get through this in my own strength, that I needed His strength and faith in Him to pull me through.

For the longest time in my teenage years I dealt with things I always kept to myself. I was very independent, determined to do things on my own. Feeling like I was weak if I needed help from anyone. But I found that that has changed, as have many more things since I was saved. I realized that I did need help, heavenly and earthly help. I needed the help of my Heavenly Father, and the help of my father and mother on earth.

Recently I finally spoke to my dad (: who I am very close to :) about some things that I knew he needed to know, and he could help me with. I have always wished the praise and respect of my parents, and I was terrified that they would be so ashamed of me if I told them. For two years I never did, fearing their disappointment, but finally, I did. And I thanked God for the opportunity and the time to talk to my dad. I never realized how much of a weight would be lifted when I let go of this secret I had been holding for so long.

I am sitting on my bed again, pondering the things happening in my life, pain, stress, uncertainty. But I again, as I have so many times before, feel a peace and strength in me I never had before.

The peace and strength of my Savior, smiling I look down at my schoolwork, picking up a pencil I begin the work I know I must do, knowing that God has given me the strength to go on.

~I love you dad, you mean more to me than I can ever express. 

A Poem A Day-Thursday

It feels like this Moment

Frozen in Time




Will be the End of Us 

Market

Yesterday was the Thursday Night Market in downtown Chico.  (Now, I simply love going to these markets, there are so many things to enjoy or look at.)
As my mom and my Gramma and I waded through the sea of diverse people I could help but contemplate on the large variety of people out there that night.


Young teenage girls wearing almost nothing at all, others girls wearing things that I believed they believed made them look 'cool', but only made them look like they where trying too hard.


There where teenage guys, some wearing 'emo' style, others trying to look 'cool' and <personally> they where pulling it off rather well ;)
Some had long hair down or in ponytails, others short and spiked. It made me wonder what went through their mind when the ones with long hair put it up in a ponytail everyday.


And then there where the adults. Some where holding small children or walking with friends. Others where out alone, now as adults they looked rather normal, but it is impossible to be walking downtown in Chico and not see the oddball adult, and I did see a few! I walked down the stalls looking at the sweet, juicy red strawberries, I look around and see a woman holding a small child girl, smiling at her and kissing her cheek, to her right a man in a black suit with a bright red [bow]tie, long hair and boots. As I continue on on I notice a small group of teenage girls, one talking loudly and stringing the 'f' word into her sentence, I cringed at the word and felt sorry that someone barely older than me felt it necessary to use language like that.


We keep walking, and I keep watching all the people, the college students handing out flyers or pamphlets on some concert playing or a charity event. I am eager for the day a group of friends and I can come out here on a Thursday night and walk through all the stalls, looking at the homemade jewelry, pottery or even chairs.


We reach the corner of a block and of course, we just have to go into Powell's, the best 'old-times' candy store ever. There where over forty people crowded into the store, mom and Gramma stopped for some Gelato ice-cream and I went farther to the back to get a candy stick for my brother and sister. I also had to get a swirled lollipop for me. I am not usually a 'lollipop' kind of person, but it looked good and I wanted something sweet :) Finally after paying, we squeeze out through the crowds and move on.
We keep walking, then stop at a stall where my mom buys some kale, the English man working the stall calls her 'love' in his endearing accent. I grinned and mom smiled :)

We continued on, my mom and Gramma wanting to hurry, as they where getting tired. I wanted to walk the entire Market, but we had only come for vegetables. We had almost reached the end of the block we where walking along, we drew near to the park where I rock band was playing and hundreds of people mingled about going about whatever they had come that night for. I saw many boy and girl couples holding hands, some kissing. And I wondered if they had any idea of the risk they where taking together like that, did they even care? I couldn't help but wonder where the majority of these people where going.

I love going to the Markets, I love to see the produce, and I love watching the people. (You can tell a lot by what a person wears to places like these.) As we started to leave I wished again college wasn't a whole year away, I wanted to be one of the teenagers in these groups I saw walking about downtown. I do recognize the extra dangers going to college can present for a Christian, the temptations you can fall into. But I always pray that when the time comes that God will give me the strength to stand for what I believe, and to stay pure. I know the time will come when my faith is put to the test, and I will trust in the Lord to pull me through and be by my side always. I am still looking forward to college and the new and strange life it carries with it, but I am willing to wait. To let my faith grow stronger <and my brain ;P>


P.S: A very good special friend of mine {:)G} is going to college in a few months, and I want her to know she will always be in my prayers :)

Days like Today

Today I had the feeling I have been experiencing more often lately again.

I was out in Chico with my mom and Gramma, going on errands and perusing the Health Food Store. Listening to them talk about this and that, the ingredient in this brand over that brand, the cost of this type over that type. Smiling to myself, eager for the day I will stand by my mom and decide whether the cheaper price for the less healthy peanut butter is better than the higher price for the healthier stuff. Of course, I already do this, I am my mothers 'right hand gal' as she likes to call me. And I cherish this position. It's my personal job and responsibility, we talk about what to make for dinner, whether we should put this seasoning in or maybe this other one. We plan out shopping, if we need more carrots or more celery instead. And I love doing this with her, beside the special 'time' we get together, it makes me feel like I'm growing up even more. Where my mom trusts me and looks to me to help her decide something when it comes to our food, or what brand to get. You know, things like that.

I guess the way I would describe the feeling was a kind of desire, or longing. I longed to be the grown adult walking down the rows of food items with my mom and my own cart, looking at the ingredients on a bottle of syrup then setting it back in disgust when I see how much sweetener is in it. (yes mother, I blame you for making me notice that all the time!! I love you :)

I had the great desire to have my own paycheck. So I could be shopping for myself, choosing between two things that I need, consulting mom on which one I should get. Maybe I feel this way because I think it will make me even closer to mom, she's been teaching me so much. How to keep myself and others healthy, how to cook and season just right. I love learning all these things from her, she's teaching me how to be a mother. I think that is the perfect way to describe it, my mom is teaching me how to be a mom, and I love her for it.

I look to my mom as a figure that I wish to be someday, with my own family, my own husband and kids to take care of. Someone I can call on a bad day and talk to so she can make me feel better, or call when I'm just not quite sure about something. I want to be able to pass on this small promise of purity ring to my eldest daughter someday, and be able to make her understand what it means. And how it used to be her grandmothers before she gave it to me. I can't wait till the day where I can be home with all my kids and my mom is over, spoiling them like all grandmothers do :) Me standing in the kitchen remembering how I used to be the kid sitting there smiling at my Gramma.

Days like today make me realize what a great mom (and Gramma :) I have. I am blessed with a mother who cares about who I will be someday, who cares enough to teach me the things a good Christian mother should know. And I know, when I am married and have my own kids (if that is His will) I will always be able to count on my mom to be there. God really blessed me with someone like my mom, and I thank Him for her every day. I love you mom :)

Cinquain-Thursday [1]

I Am,
Sad and hurt, cry
Trying to stay strong now
Hoping, praying, for strength to stand
I Am

Driving

Well, today is exiting, thrilling, amazing, humbling and scary all at the same time. Today I go to the DMV to get my permit so I can begin the driving process, finally, after years of waiting. I finally get the one thing almost all teenagers long for in their teen years. A license, well, what is so special about a small piece of plastic that is going to spend almost 99% of it's time in your wallet or purse? It's a sense of freedom, it's almost like the last step to adulthood, and you are finally deemed responsible enough to drive out on the open road. You can go places on your own you never would have been able to before, do errands for your mom, drive to school on your own. But with these few cool things you can do, you are also taking on a great responsibility, you are putting yourself and others at risk if you do not take this privilege seriously. I'm not sure whether I am more exited and ready for this new bit of road in life that has been opened to me, or more scared about what I may face on it. I have always been so ready to grow up, eager to go ahead to college, but annoyed I'm still stuck in the last years of High School, I have always wanted to be independent, to go out and drive around where I wanted to, or to go somewhere on my own. But now that I am almost 'grown up' I'm not sure if I'm ready, do I want to lose this last bit of the kid in me? Then I begin to go through the mental list of how being 'almost an adult' will help my mom and dad. When I need to go to work, I can drive, and mom won't have to take me every time. When mom needs a couple things from the grocery store, I can get them for her, she won't need to. Or when I need to go check in at all the places I applied for a job, she doesn't need to take the time to take me, I can do it myself. I am looking forward to all these things, I am happy I will be able to help my mom out in more ways than I already do. But the cons of growing up are also dangerous, I could cause an accident. Or hit someone crossing the road, no matter whose fault it would be. I could get hit by a car as well. I came to the conclusion that growing up and taking on new responsibilities is a good thing, I'm learning to be mature in new things. And that almost all things I will begin to do in the next two years will all have cons, or some kind of danger. There is a danger in everything we do, to some degree. And maturing and growing up is all a part of life. I am ready to do this, and I can always count on having a solid rock at my side, always there watching over me, keeping me safe if that is His will. Or involving me in something that may get me hurt or someone else. To teach me a lesson, or to test my faith in Him, or even to save someone else through me. I don't know what life is going to bring with my being able to drive, I don't know what is in store for me, or what may come of all this. But I am ready, and no matter what happens, good or bad. I will always trust in my Savior.

Sometimes Life can be Hard

Sometimes life can throw you for a curve, your driving along fine, until suddenly, you hit a really deep pothole. And your tire is blown. well, I felt that way this week, I still feel like that this week. I have been in pain, I have had some bad headaches, and I have been very emotional for some reason that I have yet to determine. I had a small breakdown this morning, things where all crashing down on me at once, it felt like I was trapped under a wave, loose in the ocean. I have never been one where pain affected me much, I have had a very high tolerance for pain my whole life, and I have had to deal with some serious headaches my whole life. So why should today be the day it all seems to be so much worse? I don't really have an answer to that, but sometimes you feel like the whole world is out to make you miserable, to make your life even harder than you feel it already is. Of course this is utter nonsense, the world isn't really out to get you, there is no boogy man of emotion watching your every move, waiting for the opportune moment to strike when it see's you at your weakest. We all will end up at our weakest sometime in life, but I knew I needed to remember, even when we are weak, He is not. We always have a source of strength to lean on when we need it, or even if we don't need it. 
Pslams 46:1-2
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah"

A Poem A Day-Monday

Beating so hard, so fast

My heart hits my chest

Butterflies swarm in my stomach

My feet tap the floor

The stage is so bright

The eyes are so many

I step to the front and prepare myself

I open my lips

Out comes the sound

They all came to hear

A melody flows across the seats

The faces are awed

I sing my song

I say my words

The butterflies leave and my heart smiles

I sing

Limerick Friday

I once met a girl named Daisy

Who wore a dress like paisley

She was young and pretty

With a friend named Lenny

I once met a girl named Daisy

Limericks where meant to be nonsense :)
One of my favorite Limericks is,

There once was a boy named Hall,
Who fell in the spring in the fall
         'Twould have been a sad thing
         If he died in the spring
But he didn't-he died in the fall.


Makes me laugh every time :)
The first one is mine, the first I had ever written.